LET THEM EAT CAKE.

FRIDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY. I’LL AGREE WITH Z-DAWG IN NOTNG BIRTHDAYZ ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY LOW KEY AS YOU GET OLDER. I'M FINE WITH IT MOSTLY BECAUSE I DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER THE TEQUILA SHOTS / NO DOZE / ET AL.

THERE WERE NO PRADA BAGS [SOMETHING TO STRONGLY CONSIDER BEFORE DUMPING YOUR WEALTHY BOYFRIEND] AND NO PHOTOS BECAUSE JOVAN TRIGGERED DAMAGE CONTROL, CONFISCATING MY CAMERA... DOPEST MOVE I’VE SEEN IN A WHILE.

THANKS JOVI!

FYI: THIS IS NOT JOVAN. RATHER, ONE PATRICK ROHR. HE WAS BROUGHT UP IN THE NORTH. HIS MOTHER WAS PLAYING TENNIS AND DRINKING ICED TEA WHEN THEY GAVE OUT TABLE MANNERS.